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When's the last time i blogged in mandarin ah ?

Aiyar just forget about it. Just don't feel like writing anything in mandarin now.

 

Past few days...

i've a turbulent change in my mood as if i got the Bipolor Disorder ==

 

And, i learnt alot. About my friends. About myself. About my limitations. About my weaknesses.

I'm not a saint, not Lord who can grant everyone what they wish for.

I'm an attention seeker. I need attentions. I need cares. I need the feeling of being cared. I need it badly,badly.

I am not as tough as I think I am.

I am still such a baby who like to cry when problems arise. As if crying can resolve the problems. HA !

I feel helpless when there's no one beside me... Coz i m afraid of loneliness...

I need to learn to be firm in someways.

I need to learn to tolerate more.

I need to learn be more patience.

Goodness...there are alot more for me learn just to be a better human being...When can I be a better human?

I hate to hurt myself, and my close ones. But I do it quite often nowadays =( which make me feel worse.

I start to devolop eating disorder, I guess. Coz i realise my eating habit is getting more and more abnormal...

It's still under control....but i dunno how long i can control it...

I learnt not to cling on my friends too tightly coz they will leave me one day. Leave my alone here... But true friends don't =)

 

Strength.

This is what i need the most right now.

 

Be strong and move on.

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()

Alot of things had happened recently

some of them...i can't tell

some of them....i dunno wad to tell

some of them....i dunno how to tell

 

i am lost recently

no longer know where's my stand.

i dunno... are the things im doing now right o wrong ?

i dunno what shud i do...

and i am so silly and so naive.

and i reli think...i don't deserve what i have now.

and so shameful thinking myself is good and giving out advices.

i am not a good person.

i am not a capable person.

 

i . am . just . a . stupid .

 

 

 

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

Dear Panda....

唱给你听。唱给我自己听的一首歌。

 

你不是真正的快乐

作词:五月天 作曲:五月天


人 群中 哭著 你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会梦 或痛 或心动了
你已经决定了 你已经决定了
你 静静 忍著 紧紧把昨天在拳心握著
而回忆越是甜 就是 越伤人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深浅浅 的刀割
你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳
这 世界 笑了 於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则 不是 你的选择
於是你 含著眼泪 飘飘荡荡 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳
你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左侧 却像隔著银河
难道就真的抱著遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著
你值得真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色
为什麼失去了 还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让 悲伤全部 结束在此刻 重新开始活著

 

Sincerely,

cheeyan

 

P/s:: cry if u wanna cry. dont suppress it. itz not ur fault o sth dat u shud shame of.

n itz true dat u deserve bete.

n itz sad and hearbreaking to c u to act happy everyday.

n i reli hope u can recover soon =)

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

  • Jan 03 Sat 2009 23:02
  • 好奇

 

其实啊...

我很好奇。每一天,是谁读我的部落格?

我每天都看参观人气...本日人气...几乎每一天都超过50人...

是谁阿...读我写的东东 ??

 

可以告诉我...为什么你会读我的部落格吗?

我,失去了继续写的推动力。我不知道我是为了什么而写了。

我该继续写吗?

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()

YouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuHUUUU ! ! it's da end of 2008...

let me recall recall my days in this year..

 

JAN

OKies. i hv gotten my FIRST JOB --> kindergarten teacher. LOL. it's a sweet experience <3

Sometimes kids are unavaiodably irritating...but they r cute too ! lol. gotta learn to cope with their tantrums, how to tipu kanak kanak to do homeworks (eh seriously nid to tam them one leh..if not they wont listen to u) , how to be a STRICT teacher (LOLx. guess my fren will know what i mean by dat) , how to ....aiyar...alot alot to learn...

The happiest thing is ...actually got parents called n told me dat...im a good teacher, and an influencial one =D her child LOVED me (of coz la...im adorable xD ) and will listen to wadeva i said n eventually kicked out alot of bad habits ( wow. i got strong sense of self-satisfaction )

and, i enjoy fooling with kids. hehe. it's fun to play with them...dey r so damn innocent n pure...unlike adults world -- fake. and, i nvr nvr nid to giv kids sweeeeets to rasuah them. instead, they giv sweeeets to them to rasuah me LOL...so dat i will sayang them more by giving lesser homework and playing with them more...haha....n i got alot of XOXO from them tooooo <3

 

FEB

Da craziest thing in ds year. I COMMITED a CRIME. serious. i've literally commited crime.

i've had lunch at SxxGxx ( P/S :: japanese buffet lunch )  with frens...and v DIN PAY. muahahaha. our bills were up to rm250 +++ 

but v ciaoz and....haha have a free, nice full lunch *winks*

 

March

im officially a college student, finally. i hated skul life ( da nid-to-wear-uniforms, obey-stupid-skul-rules, listening-to-ah ong's longwinde- speech-everyday parts )

college fun is sort of...ugh...i don hav the right words to describe. It's not reli fun for me...but overall it's ok larh.

My college life is somehow less happening than some frens'...mayb due to i hvnt found frens dat can siao siao with me yet in college luhh...

 

April

My pals are back from NS =D

and i got short short sem break...lol....n went to sunway lagoon with my college frens...

we had a fun day indeed. n rmb scream park? it's STUPID la...haha...waste our money nia... ( ptee definately understand what im saying fully here ) LOLx!

 

MAY

whoa! i met car accident this month n it happened on my birthday.

honestly, i nvr nvr nvr sayang a car...or i care for a car (it's non-living thing to me )...when i knocked a car...or accidentally scratched it...all i care is do my dad has to spend money on repairing it. If i feel guilty, it's all coz i've added unnecessary burden on my dad. that's all. not coz i sakit hati over car...

my 1st accident costed my dad quite a lot of money...sigh...till now i still feel regret and guilty over it.

 

anyway, thanks my frens for my bdae party and all wished from u guys =) it's my pleasure and definately with great tonnes of luck to having u guys as my buddies. hehe.

 

JUNE

ermmmmmm no significant thingy happened. june june june june. what the hell im doing in june huh?

 

JULY

final exam of my 1st sem. din reli do a great job but overall is ok. and i missed da genting trip with my college frens. HELL. what made me din join them ady huh?

and yes, my 1st sem break started. n im back to my old skul...find my old frens and of coz, eat my favorite tomyam. hehe.

 

AUGUST

MERDEKA !! haha !

and had a...small...not reli small...quite relatively big argument? predicament ? or realisation of my stupid side. or i shall rephrase it into ds way :: finally i know what is selfishness. finally i  know i cant care too much. finally i know im sooo useless. finally i know im sux. finally i know how to ignore others's weaknesses. finally i  know who can hurt me 2nd most . ( 1st of coz is my family)

 

SEPTEMBER

2nd sem. and hav a downturn of emotions in my life la...

oh ya...i've participated HELP's leadership camp...lol...sth unhappy happen...but overall ok too larh. LOL.

During da feedback session, oh gosh, v actually had to take turn to sit da middle in order to brace the wrath...OK. By that time, i was prepared to accept all negative comments abt me...o called constructive criticisms...but surprisingly, i get none of it from my group mates >< i was stunned for a short moment...coz i expect i will got lots of comments since i know myself is not a person that is easy to going with...aiks...

YET YET YET... what i got oni...good comments. well. i din trust all of da comments ... coz dey duno know me well enuf yet lar... dey oni b my frens for abt 3 days nia...how much they can know abt me?

they said im good. im trustable. im stable. im helpful. im supportive. i can boast others confidence la.got one gal said...when she cannot run and i choose to slow down myself jz to accompany her, encourage her to continue,don giv up, she is sooooo touched ( I was like HAR ??? )...bla bla bla. as if im a saint ==''' and da most most most most surprise part is...my oni weakness is I AM QUIET. zZz.

in fact, they hvnt c another side of me nia ><

 

OCTOBER

BUSY BUSY BUSY with tonnes of assignments and presentations.

 

NOVEMBER

cant wait for my final to come larh ! i'm bored with my 2nd sem. it's tiring. just hope to end it asap.


DECEMBER

final exam came =D

then hav my holiday n shopping spreeeeeeeee xD

and working of coz. ( im so guai...so will work to earn de ma...so dat my parents no nid spend so much on me hoho xD ) and...i nida build my social network as well as gain experiences. hehe.

i enjoy working at PC fair. yep. it's tiring but it's fun for me...i met some frens there ( but oni temporary frens la...haha...i don tink i will keep in touch with them for long >< ) Reasons for i will not keep in touch with them ? haha...jz they n me arent in the same frequency...lol...dey macam FM. and im AM. haha.

 

 

omg. jz like ds...i finished my year of 2008. no lovey-dovey story yet. shyte. i hope i can write da romantic part of my life nex year...

still got alot of resolutions hvnt accomplised...ishh...seems gotta carry all 4ward to nex year...

haiz.

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Dec 30 Tue 2008 21:58
  • 很想

 

 

 

 

 

 

我真的很想很想 很想 很想 很想 很想 很想

很想 很想很想

很想

很想

很想

很想

很想

很想....

 

放弃

可是我却不甘心。

也不舍得放弃

 

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

holy crow! it's NOVEMBER already.

ugh.

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

HELP UC students are surprisingly hardworking. Yea. Dey, no no , its US r hardworking.

When i went to national library 2day,well, i actually bumped into a few frens of mine. Haha. All r here to find info to do research report. SEE. v r hardworking =)

Then, i met keng fui* (shud b spelled in ds way gua...) . I said hi to him. N his response was..."ooo.u r my coll mate a. no wonder u look so familiar to me. "

OMG. v have been same class for more than one month. yet, he din rmb who am i.

Hmmph. maybe it's my fault. i admit, i nvr talked to him b4 in past 7 weeks. ><" i guessed today was da 1st time i talked to him...how pathetic huh.

OKies. Past 7 weeks in college...i was like a....zombie.i guess. I study like usual. I talk when u talk to me. I answer ur Q when u ask me sth. i was like...lifeless,aimless at dat time.

 

BUT, im much bete now. hehe =)

im trying to go back...to my original path now. Guess a typical-quiet-gal image just don suit me >.<

 

*

 

i was amazed by some blacks' appetite btw.

Dey can eat alot. i mean it. ALOT. i saw 3 of dem, 2 gals, 1 guy actually ordered 2 sets of regular pizza n one set of large pizza...n dey can finish it. BRAVO ~!

 

*

 

oh yea. STEPHENIE MEYER's books are soooo great. extraordinarily GREAT. im so obsessed with dem ds few days.

TRUST ME. just read it n u wont sampai hati to put down dat book. They are just...amazingly NICE =)

*

tata 1st. haha. having on9 meeting now. ><

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

come on!

use your brain instead of ur ass to think.

i wont even spit on u if ur ass was on fire.

you can leave me alone but not show ur sucky yucky face to me.








mind ur own business,

not mine.

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()


i just wana say dat i'm


Tired.





will update my blog tmr = )



p/s: looking forward to steambot'ing-mashmallow day ><


wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

家好月圆即将要大结局了阿~~!!!!

想知道内容,请安这里

不想知道的话,please get lost =P

wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()

  • Sep 13 Sat 2008 22:46

今天呢,看见自己的好,好,好朋友真开心阿
真的
之前不开心的事,过了今天,好像可以当着它没发生过。

琪,雯,谢谢你们。


话说回来
我们到了 Dessert's bar 吃甜品
MmMmMmMm~~
超好吃的!  

 

左边: black sesame with soya bean ice cream
右上:grape juice
右下:fruity pancake

  一口冰淇淋,一口葡萄汁,一口我最,最最爱吃的pancake 
哇哇哇~!感觉真幸福啊



过后呢,我们去了 Delicious用餐
店的环境很美,让我觉得很幸福。
照旧,进到这些店,我一定坐在沙发那一边,霸也要霸那边,因为软绵绵的,很舒服 =)   

                



左上: Oxtail spagetti
右上: banofee
下图: Special Delicious Mini Cheese Burger

老实说,当琪说要不要点oxtail试吃吗...我起初有一点儿犹豫的
oxtail=牛尾喔....
可是,我看到她点到那么兴致勃勃,我以为,oxtail 不是牛尾 ><
哈哈哈。当那道面上座时,ok,comfirm.oxtail=牛尾
而且,那条牛尾很粗。
不过,还蛮好吃的=D

还有,我 必须强调,它的BURGER 真的,真的很,很,很好吃阿!!!
啊啊啊啊啊~!一定要再吃多一次!  



要天天都可以像今天那么开心地笑。
我要。 






wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

听好噢!!
我要收回 anti 家好月圆这句话 ><
* 再不收阿...我会被人zat 到 9 9 咯~~~* 

最近,
发觉这套戏还不错啦。
虽然,剧情是有一点夸张啦 

但是
剧中的对白还蛮好笑
有时
还蛮有意思 =)
有时
会蛮感动
有时
会随着剧情讨厌一些角色  =P

得空时,
它是不错的打法时间的东西。
嘻嘻 xD 


wcyan 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()