: *: 欣 声 : * :

其实啊...

我很好奇。每一天，是谁读我的部落格？

我每天都看参观人气...本日人气...几乎每一天都超过50人...

是谁阿...读我写的东东 ？？

可以告诉我...为什么你会读我的部落格吗？

我，失去了继续写的推动力。我不知道我是为了什么而写了。

我该继续写吗？

YouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuHUUUU ! ! it's da end of 2008...

let me recall recall my days in this year..

JAN

OKies. i hv gotten my FIRST JOB --> kindergarten teacher. LOL. it's a sweet experience <3

Sometimes kids are unavaiodably irritating...but they r cute too ! lol. gotta learn to cope with their tantrums, how to tipu kanak kanak to do homeworks (eh seriously nid to tam them one leh..if not they wont listen to u) , how to be a STRICT teacher (LOLx. guess my fren will know what i mean by dat) , how to ....aiyar...alot alot to learn...

The happiest thing is ...actually got parents called n told me dat...im a good teacher, and an influencial one =D her child LOVED me (of coz la...im adorable xD ) and will listen to wadeva i said n eventually kicked out alot of bad habits ( wow. i got strong sense of self-satisfaction )

and, i enjoy fooling with kids. hehe. it's fun to play with them...dey r so damn innocent n pure...unlike adults world -- fake. and, i nvr nvr nid to giv kids sweeeeets to rasuah them. instead, they giv sweeeets to them to rasuah me LOL...so dat i will sayang them more by giving lesser homework and playing with them more...haha....n i got alot of XOXO from them tooooo <3

FEB

Da craziest thing in ds year. I COMMITED a CRIME. serious. i've literally commited crime.

i've had lunch at SxxGxx ( P/S :: japanese buffet lunch )  with frens...and v DIN PAY. muahahaha. our bills were up to rm250 +++ 

but v ciaoz and....haha have a free, nice full lunch *winks*

March

im officially a college student, finally. i hated skul life ( da nid-to-wear-uniforms, obey-stupid-skul-rules, listening-to-ah ong's longwinde- speech-everyday parts )

college fun is sort of...ugh...i don hav the right words to describe. It's not reli fun for me...but overall it's ok larh.

My college life is somehow less happening than some frens'...mayb due to i hvnt found frens dat can siao siao with me yet in college luhh...

April

My pals are back from NS =D

and i got short short sem break...lol....n went to sunway lagoon with my college frens...

we had a fun day indeed. n rmb scream park? it's STUPID la...haha...waste our money nia... ( ptee definately understand what im saying fully here ) LOLx!

MAY

whoa! i met car accident this month n it happened on my birthday.

honestly, i nvr nvr nvr sayang a car...or i care for a car (it's non-living thing to me )...when i knocked a car...or accidentally scratched it...all i care is do my dad has to spend money on repairing it. If i feel guilty, it's all coz i've added unnecessary burden on my dad. that's all. not coz i sakit hati over car...

my 1st accident costed my dad quite a lot of money...sigh...till now i still feel regret and guilty over it.

anyway, thanks my frens for my bdae party and all wished from u guys =) it's my pleasure and definately with great tonnes of luck to having u guys as my buddies. hehe.

JUNE

ermmmmmm no significant thingy happened. june june june june. what the hell im doing in june huh?

JULY

final exam of my 1st sem. din reli do a great job but overall is ok. and i missed da genting trip with my college frens. HELL. what made me din join them ady huh?

and yes, my 1st sem break started. n im back to my old skul...find my old frens and of coz, eat my favorite tomyam. hehe.

AUGUST

MERDEKA !! haha !

and had a...small...not reli small...quite relatively big argument? predicament ? or realisation of my stupid side. or i shall rephrase it into ds way :: finally i know what is selfishness. finally i  know i cant care too much. finally i know im sooo useless. finally i know im sux. finally i know how to ignore others's weaknesses. finally i  know who can hurt me 2nd most . ( 1st of coz is my family)

SEPTEMBER

2nd sem. and hav a downturn of emotions in my life la...

oh ya...i've participated HELP's leadership camp...lol...sth unhappy happen...but overall ok too larh. LOL.

During da feedback session, oh gosh, v actually had to take turn to sit da middle in order to brace the wrath...OK. By that time, i was prepared to accept all negative comments abt me...o called constructive criticisms...but surprisingly, i get none of it from my group mates >< i was stunned for a short moment...coz i expect i will got lots of comments since i know myself is not a person that is easy to going with...aiks...

YET YET YET... what i got oni...good comments. well. i din trust all of da comments ... coz dey duno know me well enuf yet lar... dey oni b my frens for abt 3 days nia...how much they can know abt me?

they said im good. im trustable. im stable. im helpful. im supportive. i can boast others confidence la.got one gal said...when she cannot run and i choose to slow down myself jz to accompany her, encourage her to continue,don giv up, she is sooooo touched ( I was like HAR ??? )...bla bla bla. as if im a saint ==''' and da most most most most surprise part is...my oni weakness is I AM QUIET. zZz.

in fact, they hvnt c another side of me nia ><

OCTOBER

BUSY BUSY BUSY with tonnes of assignments and presentations.

NOVEMBER

cant wait for my final to come larh ! i'm bored with my 2nd sem. it's tiring. just hope to end it asap.

DECEMBER

final exam came =D

then hav my holiday n shopping spreeeeeeeee xD

and working of coz. ( im so guai...so will work to earn de ma...so dat my parents no nid spend so much on me hoho xD ) and...i nida build my social network as well as gain experiences. hehe.

i enjoy working at PC fair. yep. it's tiring but it's fun for me...i met some frens there ( but oni temporary frens la...haha...i don tink i will keep in touch with them for long >< ) Reasons for i will not keep in touch with them ? haha...jz they n me arent in the same frequency...lol...dey macam FM. and im AM. haha.

omg. jz like ds...i finished my year of 2008. no lovey-dovey story yet. shyte. i hope i can write da romantic part of my life nex year...

still got alot of resolutions hvnt accomplised...ishh...seems gotta carry all 4ward to nex year...

haiz.

常常看到 有些人...在别人面前总是很斯文的，很有礼貌....可是阿 ，注意下他们在家里的一面，却完完全全不一样的。

常常听到有人说阿...那个谁谁谁很斯文，很淑女...和我完全不一样。哈！

那是当然的啦~！ 我，是为我自己而活，不是为了面子，形象而活。 假如为了别人的想法而活，那么对我来说，人生是完全无乐趣了。

假如你是开心的...那么就尽管笑出来吧 ! 没有必要在旁边偷偷笑，控制自己什么的。

想哭，就哭。有什么情绪，感想想说出来，就说吧。假如想一个人，那么就告诉那个人，你想他。有什么真心想说就说...不要太压抑自己。

当别人给予你意见，负面评语时，不要脸黑黑的，自以为是。要开心地接受，感谢那些人给予成长的机会。

假如那些人是真正想当你的朋友的，那么他们是可以完全的接受你。

没有必要为了fit in 而改变自己； 没有必要为了别人而变得那么虚假 。

不要天天带面具过人生阿。

偶尔为了工作难免会变得虚假， 可是...在家人，朋友面前，不要不要不要不要不要那么虚假。也许你认为没人发现你很假，可是事实上，只是没有人开口说你虚假，装作。

我真的很想很想 很想 很想 很想 很想 很想

很想 很想很想

很想

很想

很想

很想

很想

很想....

放弃

可是我却不甘心。

也不舍得放弃

Oh, oh
Mhm
Oh, oh
Yeah yeah
Oh, oh
Ooooh

Two o'clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is I gotta get next to you
Yeah I gotta get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes in the hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
Cuz you don't know that I gotta get next to you

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby, call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I, just gotta get next to you

Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Asked around and I heard that you were talking
Told my girl that you thought I was out of your league
What a fool, I gotta get next to you
Oh, yeah
It's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
Cuz I wish, yeah I wish you knew what you mean to me
Baby, let's get together and end this mystery

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby, call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I, just gotta get next to you

Whatcha gotta say
Watcha gotta do
How you get the one you want
To wanna get next to you
Watcha gotta say
Watcha gotta do
How you get the one you want
To wanna get next to you
Watcha gotta say
Watcha gotta do
How you get the one you want
To wanna get next to you
Watcha gotta say
Watcha gotta do
How you get the one you want
To wanna get next to you, yeah yeah
To wanna get next to you

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby, call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
So baby, call me crazy
But I know you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I, just gotta get next to you

Oh, oh
Yeah
Oh, oh
Next to you
Oh, oh
Yeah
I gotta get next to you

hmm. 一月要来了。怎么办？

我真的很想开学了。因为...一个月的假期真的很无聊。每天起来都不知道做什么好，到最后就选择睡觉算了。

至少开学....我有东西忙，可以有目标的活着。我不喜欢这样无所事事的假期阿...

以前还在中学放假时，至少我还可以去补习，至少我还有功课可以温习。现在呢？ 我每天都读小说而已。现在读完全部小说了，可是没有钱买新的...又到回不知道有什么东西做的阶段...所以，还是开学最好。

新的一年

我有几个小小的愿望，希望可以达成。

Whoa. It's december and im updating my blog =P  ( for Ptee. hehe)

well. i've finished my 2nd sem,which was my happiest moment ever since i've entered HELP UC.

Truly, 2nd sem is like....ughhh....i hate it. it's so busy and burdening. but my mum don tink so. she accused me din feel sam fu at all......coz i still got the time for movies and yumcha xD  aiyor mama.u wont want me to be a nerd. Rite? If there is one day i'll bcome a nerd n wont go out anymore.....it must da day i finally rmb  to take my medicine for being normal =P

Though,haha,to be honest, i din reli spend time reading on my notes...i still nid to do assignments. bunch of assignments.when all da assignments due on da same day...i was like...gonna crazy and gonna cry at the same time. STRESS. But now, im glad finally i've passed this sem ady.I SURVIVE after passing all the trials n tribulations. WHOOHOO.

i got my temporary happy n freedom for now =)

p/s:: thanks hottie mama, sexy mama and fish for helping me in cts assignments =D u guys are so great.

Then...since huici n nelson talked abt scholarship ceremony in their blogs...i wana say sth too. Dat day reli damn pai seh la wei! when i stepped up the stage to get my 'cert' , my frens kena me 99 by shouting LENG LUI. Then da all people in the hall LOOKED at me. Reli...so pai seh la...afterall im a shy gal lai de marh.....aiyer....

to be honest,yala, i enjoy all the 'whoohoo' when im goin to stage la...i like cheers =) but i din expect 'leng lui' larh. dat was toooo embarassing ><

ya, though it's a formal ceremony....we still behaved like...it's a party.haha. Getting scholarship is sth dat v shud b happy n proud of rite? haha. so there is no wrong for our behaviours =P . wad's for being so serious all the time?? At least i got fun memories to treasure in my later year. hehe.

Then then...im working at PC fair. Come n find me. Hehe.

ANd, quite alot of things have happened....but i cant recall any of them now. so just wait for my nex post.'

ALSO, I WILL FIND HIM BEFORE I GROW OLD. I SWEAR.

holy crow! it's NOVEMBER already.

ugh.

SIGH. it's midterm exam again.

i seriously hate exam.

Reasons::

1.EXAM = GUILTY SMASHER.

i feel like...im obligated to stay at home during exam week...haha...though i wont study,still, i will stay at home...i will feel guilty if i go out >< just stay at home. read novel watch anime. bete than go out.

2.EXAM = my DREAM BREAKER.

exam...make me eat ALOT. i mean it. ALOT. Appetite just bcame enormously big during exam week...>< i'll keep on finding food to eat....barely can concentrate if i don eat. yeah. bad habit. right. tak payah gam fei again.

3. EXAM = SLEEP INDUCER.

normally , ppl wil feel stress durin exam n folo by ensuing insonmia. But, Me ...paiseh-ly tell u dat...i will sleep more than normal days do. LOL. exam ma...must sleep more so dat have enuf energy to use when answering Qs.

4. EXAM = FUN SPOILER.

i tink this will apply to everyone...just cant enjoy well during exam. NOt dat i feel stress...it's just...i will guilty and bad AGAIN if i enjoy too much. freaky me.

to conclude, exam is VILLAIN.

P/S:: i finished my advanced english exam ady...1st time. i worry i cant even score half of the total marks. It's super duper HARD....sobx.

bless me.

could somebody gimme a permission to shout out a GIANT F word???

ARGH. it's so crappy! Traffic jam took me more than an hour to reach home from college. and hell i gotta go thru these for 2 more months. im very BEH SONG Ahh! y msia traffic is so......argh.i duno how to describe anymore.

bless me anyway.

Hope my patience can tahan for 2 more months for such traffic condition.

HAHA. 4got to mention just now..

I LOVE TO HUG N CLING ON SOMEONE recently.

paiseh.

coz i love dat kind of feeling. touching , hugging is instant communication. u don hav to talk. just feel it.

i love it coz it's warm =)

how i wish i have a bf to cling on. sigh.

HELP UC students are surprisingly hardworking. Yea. Dey, no no , its US r hardworking.

When i went to national library 2day,well, i actually bumped into a few frens of mine. Haha. All r here to find info to do research report. SEE. v r hardworking =)

Then, i met keng fui* (shud b spelled in ds way gua...) . I said hi to him. N his response was..."ooo.u r my coll mate a. no wonder u look so familiar to me. "

OMG. v have been same class for more than one month. yet, he din rmb who am i.

Hmmph. maybe it's my fault. i admit, i nvr talked to him b4 in past 7 weeks. ><" i guessed today was da 1st time i talked to him...how pathetic huh.

OKies. Past 7 weeks in college...i was like a....zombie.i guess. I study like usual. I talk when u talk to me. I answer ur Q when u ask me sth. i was like...lifeless,aimless at dat time.

BUT, im much bete now. hehe =)

im trying to go back...to my original path now. Guess a typical-quiet-gal image just don suit me >.<

*

i was amazed by some blacks' appetite btw.

Dey can eat alot. i mean it. ALOT. i saw 3 of dem, 2 gals, 1 guy actually ordered 2 sets of regular pizza n one set of large pizza...n dey can finish it. BRAVO ~!

*

oh yea. STEPHENIE MEYER's books are soooo great. extraordinarily GREAT. im so obsessed with dem ds few days.

TRUST ME. just read it n u wont sampai hati to put down dat book. They are just...amazingly NICE =)

*

tata 1st. haha. having on9 meeting now. ><

i fall asleep at 8pm again yesterday. haha. too exhausted after being crazy for da whole day =P

Hehe. i hooked up with my gang yesterday n it was sorta fun. yea. i nvr felt in dat way since duno when.

Da happy feeling, da urge of talking, da smile i can give naturally. It's good dat i dun how to pretend to b happy.

Well, v sang L.O.K.E song again. hehehe =D

the late presence of LOKE excited us to the highest point of siao-ness. whoohooo~ xD

it's so good to shout all it out of my lungs. Truly.

After sing-shout-thingy, v gals n guys were separated into 2 gangs respectively & temporarily.

Guys headed to Time Square to have a pool, AGAIN. i wonder when dey wil just get sick of it. Maybe never, like shopping has d same effect on us, the gals =)

but, i nvr succeed in getting anything in Sg.wang. haha. Things ther just don right for me >< i felt so awkward at ther bcoz i was soooooo different from typical kind of them. I dont make up 9 9 like dem nor dress up like dem --> the lolita o seafood way. But, in their eyes, maybe my way of dressing up is odd too.  LOLx. who cares anyway.

Then, we met up at Pavilion n decided to dine in Madam's Kwan, so called 冠权的店。 we chated for kinda long. It had been a long time v din chat lidat...in such a big gang. V r separated since graduation. V r busy with our own study n future o work. There are alot in us,yet, i believe all ds reasons wont break our years friendship so easily. GUA.

AND YEA. one thing i must mention here, dat's v actually drove there. HAHA. 8 of us were squeeeeeezed into my lil Saga. LOL. Da drivers dat past by our car just burst out into laughter when seeing us squeeze in da car.

Well, it's nothing funny. It just...3 of us sat on da laps of another 3 of us. N bobo,again,had da credit to sit at da front seat, for his size's sake. N nelson was da driver.

Luckily he drove mannn. haha. coz i don hav confidence to control my car with sooo many ppl inside + i'd be very stressed up when i was asked to drive to da place dat im not familiar with.  Maybe it's yam yeng baaa...since da day i met car accident. i don drive uncessarily. i can giv u da car key if u nid my car, but, just don ask me to drive, if possible.

Overall, i had a gud,eventful day =)

haha. i macam writing primary skul essay nia =P

p/s:: hope ooileong can join us nex time...

im happier now.

Thanks Jon for telling me to look for happy things instead of sad things to think of =)

well well. Recently, i've been very very busy *sigh*

wad to do. It's typical matriculation life. We have to race with time every second to do our assignments =(

ARGH. life is never easy.

SHIN SHOU ~!

haha.wait i get all my photos den i will blog 9 9 to let u read xD

i promise. hehe.

i've done my CTS presentation btw.i tink it was so so niaaa....><

some did very well; some...omg...reli....(no offence) nonsense larh. esp da one keep on saying oni GALS will choose BEAUTY if dey r given a chance to choose between beauty o brain.i reli feel like slapping dat guy at dat time. he criticised gals as if he is da best, the most wise ever guy who chose BRAIN.betul2 botak yang belum ditapis. ZZZZZZZ.  OMG. Inner beauty is oso considered as beauty, k?

what else.

oh yea. i went to leadership camp last last week. i will blog abt it after i collect all da photos.

For sure, i will tell u guys wad da comments i got from my teammates. hahahahaha.

And ar. i finished all quizes jor. Again, so so nia.

i'll be goin to sing k with frens tmr. HOoRay xD

yea.time to pour out my feelings. Still, old frens r da bez =)

今天又和朋友出去吃东西。

我负责载雪莉。

她上车不久，就问我发生什么事了。我是不是有什么事。

我啊。哈哈。我没事。

她说，我变了。

. . .

有嘛？

最近，的确很多人说我变得安静了。

安静，不好吗？

以前不是说我很吵的吗？

现在，只是少说话了。

我啊。好像被剥去了叽喳能力。

我其实也想变回以前很吵的我，可是，我就是办不到。

. . .

我很想哭的。可是，我找不到哭的理由。