went to monash today.

when on the way go there...i actually imagined how Monash looks like...coz u know...i nvr saw a normal UNi like what  i have seen on tv when i was small.....my current Uni ar...haha....suan liao larh. u wont know there is a Uni if no one tells u it is a Uni coz itz located in between all big companies and somehow looks like office more than Uni. and before Monash, another university college dat i have been before is Taylors which its look as same as HELP la,macam abang adik, except itz surrounded by all mouth-watering food...Actually i am glad dat i din choose Taylors at da very beginning coz i m sure i cant resist those tempting luring food at there...haha...

Still...monash...

i expect there is alot of TREES (aiyar jz overall looks GREEN la)...and sunshine boys =D and a big basketball court or football field...there are lots of guys playing balls and gals cheering at da side. Den suddenly a ball accidentally hit me...den a guy with apologetic face comes to me...at 1st i tot of screwing him up, but,when i scrutinaze his face...WAAA is my response coz he is soooo handsome so cute so sunshine >< *blush... he keeps saying sorry to me but i just cant give any normal responses but smile n say itz ok =) den he runs back to his frens...and i continue my journey. I walk to admin there...to ask abt my course of coz.not check his name out =P   When i come out...i see him is leaning on the door with a shy yet cute face...haha...and he sees me too. Da atmosphere is intensed with awkward yet happy yet weird yet full of happiness feeling...

PAK ! * a slap on myself to make myself wake up* where got such romantic occurance in real world de larh..

and da truth is...there is no students at Monash now...whole uni looks like a dumped city, so dead. No cheering no shouting no laughin no oooh no ahhhh no boys no gals. UGGGHHH. coz they are having holiday... obviously i hav chosen a wrong date to gap zai larh....deng deng deng...

and monash is not as big as i imagined. not as nice as i imagined...itz not very big nia...but overall itz ok lorh. I like da library though. Biggest ever library dat i have seen among UniS..haha...poor lil HELP library reli cant compare with it larh....btw da fees are even more beautiful...nid ard rm30K per year for my course...yep per year....one sem nid ard rm15K...zzz...effing expensive larh ! i can finish my course in TAR for less than rm30K larh deng !

i don think i will further my study there lar...even i want...i will oni credit transfer to Monash for my 3rd year n itz bcoz i want its certs not itz programme.

oh yea.  i wana study pyschology for my degree course. Any suggestions of which UNi is good for it? except HELP, monash , TAR, segi.. Wher else offer psychology in Malaysia?

昨天，和某位朋友谈天...平时我没和他多谈，但是昨天觉得他好像承受着很大的压力...所以就和他聊一聊吧。我很老实地告诉他，我没能帮他些什么，但是，假如他不介意，我能当他的聆听者。

可是，到最后，我们可说是不欢而散。不管他有没有读我的博文，我就是要说 ！ 要写 ！我们不欢而散的原因。我不管你喜不喜欢，在不在乎，我就是要写出来。但是，我不会透露他是谁，什么名字。这是我给他的最后尊敬。

.   .   .

我们的对话内容大致上是关于他的压力。

他说他的压力很大。中考考不好。assignments 很多。

我说...当然我没可能说midterm 而已，没关系啦。我绝对不会说这样的话。因为，我也很在乎我的midterm 的。假如我们对换立场，我的midterm 考不好，我也会很不开心的。

我说，midterm 已经考完了，一切都成定局了。即使你在怎样在乎，不开心，失望，你是改变不了midterm 的成绩了。为什么不尝试这个星期找朋友出去走走，喝喝茶，谈谈天，疏解了压力，才继续前进？

他：　～．～　（对，这就是他给我的回应）

他说ａｓｓｉｇｎｍｅｎｔ　很多，很烦。

我说以他现在的情绪根本无法好好地做ａｓｓｉｇｎｍｅｎｔｓ．．．真的，在周末出去走走，真的会好很多。到时再做ａｓｓｉｇｎｍｅｎｔ吧．．．

结果，他回我 ： wtf u tot foundation n degree is the same meh ...   i 3rd sem stress free de lorh... u stress wad stress...

那天（我忘了星期几）

从收音机听到一个蛮有趣的统计

它说：

你的朋友的朋友，在他们的每六个人里的其中一个， 一定是直接或间接性地认识你。

就是说，譬如，朋友A 的某一个朋友是认识你的。

总结来说，我们都是连接的 ><

只是，我们不知道我们是从哪里开始连接在一起。

刚才，当我看一学院朋友的部落格照片的时候...很意外地发现他的朋友的女朋友是我的中学朋友！

我已有一年多没见的朋友...突然在一个以前和她毫无关系的人的照片看到她...

顿时，我很惊讶，也觉得很微妙。

哈哈哈 =D

换句话来说，也许你现在不认识我，或者我不认识，总有一天，我和你一定会互相认识。或者，我们的朋友群中，一定有其中几个是认识你或认识我。只是，我们不知道而已 =）

难怪 阿难怪阿...有人说: the world is without strangers. There are only someone who u dunno yet.

so true ^^

又是一篇关于时间的博文。

岁月的流去，让我尝试了很多东西。甜，酸，苦，辣都不缺。同时，也让我知更多，了解更多。

有些事情，我真的很希望没发生过。很遗憾的，我是改变不了过去。

有些事情，我真的很不想我不知道。 有时，知道少一些，生活会变得更好。 少些忧虑，过得更快乐。

可是，比起很多人，我真的很好运了。这是因为 ...我还没正正式式尝试生死离别的滋味。我的祖宗，亲戚全都很健壮。所以...我更担心，更怕时间的流去...我很怕长大。因为我一天一天长大，我的家人一天一天变老。终有一天，我得面对离别的滋味。

我不想。也很不舍。

我还不愿意长大，不愿意离开我的家人，不愿意面对现实。

我知道我这样的想法很幼稚。

可是，除了珍惜现在所有的一切之外，我还能做些什么？

有时候，我很想出国留学； 有时候，我却不舍得离开我的温暖小家。

假如，我出国一年...哪怕一年，只是半年能让我哭得稀里哗啦。 可是，我是不会在我的父母面前哭。因为，他们会比我更伤心。

有时候，我恨不得离开马来西亚； 有时候，我却对马来西亚依依不舍。毕竟，这里是我成长的地方。我的家人和朋友全都在这里...

我不想离开后，一切又要重新开始。我担心那时候我真的有心而力不足了。

我有好多的想和不想...而一切只有当时间来了我才能定下决心，狠狠做出决定。

我希望，也相信，也尽力，不会让我的生活有太多的遗憾。

* 哇哇哇...我的华语还不赖嘛~~~嘻嘻 =） *

啊啊啊啊啊 ....最近我很大头虾阿~！

单单这个星期，我忘记锁我的车门...  ><  每天到学院，一旦停泊好我的车，我就拜拜然后走进学院里了...我没有检查还是什么的 ><

真的很庆幸，放学后我的车还在...

结果，今天我更加"轮准:...下了车，走进屋里....结果发现我的车锁匙没有跟我一起进来。 == 我冲冲到回去，才发觉my car key is still at there ignition there...swt.....luckily no one steals ｉｔ　ＹＥＴ．ｐｈｅｅｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ．

 * aiks...it's so hard to type in mandarin...i m feeling so unconformatable of writing in mandarin ==...but i will force myself to do so. there is no way i will let my mandarin becomes so bad. no way. no way. no way. i still can speak in mandarin fluently...yea...i jz need time to readjust myself so dat i can write in mandarin as fluent as before...JIA YOU  ! *

ok back to topic...

omg lar...i wonder y am i being so reckless, being to slow to response, being so stupid, being so ... whatever words dat u can use on a moron like me larh...

My mind is just fully occupied by something else and i dunno what is it... I JUST CAN'T FOCUS !

and stupid me...i miss out one and very important slide during my ECP presentation...i reli banged my head for my mistake for it...oh shit oh shit oh shit. i hope my own mistake will not drag my group members into troubles...I AM SO SORRY. SORRY. SORRY. SORRY. SORRY.

and TODAY AGAIN. DAmn myself for plotting a wrong ogive...i can't believe i could made such a stupid mistake.

and and and... i've hurt a fren...

and...somehow my words frighten my fren... i am truly sorry...

ALOT OF SORRIES to my FRENS...n mum n dad for being so reckless...

wad if one day i come out from college n find out my lil fragile milo tin car is stolen...

OMG. i think i gonna walk to college everyday just to compensate my faults.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! i dunno wad to say abt myself...i just hate it. hate it. hate it. hate MYSELF.

Alot of things had happened recently

some of them...i can't tell

some of them....i dunno wad to tell

some of them....i dunno how to tell

i am lost recently

no longer know where's my stand.

i dunno... are the things im doing now right o wrong ?

i dunno what shud i do...

and i am so silly and so naive.

and i reli think...i don't deserve what i have now.

and so shameful thinking myself is good and giving out advices.

i am not a good person.

i am not a capable person.

i . am . just . a . stupid .

Dear Panda....

唱给你听。唱给我自己听的一首歌。

你不是真正的快乐

作词：五月天 作曲：五月天

人 群中 哭著 你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会梦 或痛 或心动了
你已经决定了 你已经决定了
你 静静 忍著 紧紧把昨天在拳心握著
而回忆越是甜 就是 越伤人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深浅浅 的刀割
你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳
这 世界 笑了 於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则 不是 你的选择
於是你 含著眼泪 飘飘荡荡 跌跌撞撞 的走著
你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳
你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左侧 却像隔著银河
难道就真的抱著遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著
你值得真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色
为什麼失去了 还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让 悲伤全部 结束在此刻 重新开始活著

Sincerely,

cheeyan

P/s:: cry if u wanna cry. dont suppress it. itz not ur fault o sth dat u shud shame of.

n itz true dat u deserve bete.

n itz sad and hearbreaking to c u to act happy everyday.

n i reli hope u can recover soon =）

糟糕

我发觉我的华语真的退步了....很多时候，我的句子构造是从华语翻译去英语。

譬如： A level is very expensive to study.

翻译： A level 很贵读。

（结果我的朋友浩业一直笑我的语病。看到花，说花很美买。==）

怎么办？

现在英文半桶水， 莲华语都半桶水了。

我本还打算在5 或6 月的时候考中国华语文凭的。

从今天开始

我要天天阅读华文报！

我要....

eh, wanna improve my mandarin

how to say in mandarin?

我要——我的华语？

那天唱歌没唱到....

恋人未满

S.H.E

为什么只和你能聊一整夜
为什么才道别就又想见面
在朋友里面就数你最特别
总让我觉得很亲很贴
为什么你在意谁陪我逛街
为什么你担心谁对我放电
你说你对我,比别人多一些
却又不说是多哪一些
友达以上恋人未满
甜蜜心烦,愉悦混乱
我们以后会变怎样
我迫不及待想知道答案
再靠近一点就让你牵手
再勇敢一点我就跟你走
你还等什么时间已经不多
再下去只好只作朋友
再向前一点点我就会点头
再冲动一点点我就不闪躲
不过三个字别犹豫这么久
只要你说出口你就能拥有我
为什么你寂寞只想要我陪
为什么我难过只肯让你安慰
我们心里面明明都有感觉
为什么不敢面对
我不相信
都动了感情却到不了爱情
那么贴心却进不了心底
你能不能快一点决定
对我说我爱你
(真爱永恒）

Yay... jz did a personality and it's accurate ! I am an ENFP =)

Here's da overview of my personality test...

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

"They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them ( sooooo true ! ) ; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives."

"Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone, especially on a regular basis."

- ENFP Profile (TypeLogic)

"outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking, good at getting people to have fun, pleasure seeking, irresponsible, physically affectionate, risk taker, thrill seeker, likely to have or want a tattoo, adventurous, unprepared, attention seeking, hyperactive, irrational, loves crowds, rule breaker, prone to losing things, seductive, easily distracted, open, revealing, comfortable in unfamiliar situations, attracted to strange things, non punctual, likes to stand out, likes to try new things, fun seeker, unconventional, energetic, impulsive, empathetic, dangerous, loving, attachment prone, prone to fantasy."

- ENFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)

"ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others' contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaderspossibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts. They are able to help people see the best in the people and likely to bring out the best in of the people. And they likely to put a lot of effort in making things work between people.

The ENFP is into everything, frisky, not unlike a puppy, sniffing around to see what's new. ENFP has to be in on everything, can't bear to be left out of anything. That's why they make such splendid reporters, newscasters, and journalists. ( LOL ! dat prove i am natural born CNN. hahahaah)  "

- ENFP - The Visionary (Lifexplore)

"Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources. "

- ENFP Facts (discoveryourpersonality.com)

" They are lovely and beautiful too =P "

- Chee Yan ( wcyan.pixnet.net/blog)

U guys are interested in da test? well u can click da link below and have a try =D it's fun and useful to know urself more b bete. hehe.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

今天呢

我回中学拿SPM文凭。说实在的，我不知道要那个文凭干什么。现在，有谁会看我的ＳＰＭ　文凭啦？

最重要的是，我最不喜欢的，就是我的ＳＰＭ成绩。

＝（

管他啦。

重点是，我的同学朋友说我穿的很．．．ｓｅｄｕｃｉｎｇ　＞＜

他问我：‘你来学校要ｓｅｄｕｃｅ谁？这里只有ｌｅｎｇ仔　（就是小弟弟啦~）？ '

excuse me.

你的朋友我需要seduce 没有？

不用seduce 只有一堆黑黑的fans la ~

哎哟~！ 你酱outdate 的咩？？

.   .   .

我应该向一些朋友学习。天天自拍。

那样，我就有照片可以放在这儿。

然后你们帮我说话。

我一点都不seducing.

coz i am not a slut.

aiks. I AM HERE AGAIN coz i'm stuck in my assignments...zzz......

well. i duno how to apply all da economics' theories n concepts into my assignment =(

and

my psychology assignment is a hard one. i have no idea what to do with it yet. btw, da topic for my assignment is Drinking: attitudes and actions. LOL. so coincident. i am an alcholic. i enjoy drinking =P BUT i dunno why i drink...and actions after drinking???? ermmm. maybe will talk more. haha.

. . .

recently

i am surrouded by saddening news from frens...aiks...they broke up vf their ex-es.

i think i have good frens, seriously a very good one and they deserve better. BUT, always, they are da ...can't tell they are victim...errmm...they are da one get hurted da most.

i reli...dunno what to say about it. Just think...my frens deserve better.

And, i think...when u fall in love...coz u fall for him/her attractiveness; when u can keep up da relationship n it lasts for long, coz u can withstand him/her weaknesses while u r being with him/her.

it's so hard to have a good, stable relationship. Appreciate it if u have it.

. . .

erm

i am reading P/S: i Love u currently. It's a nice.....somehow saddening book.

sigh.

ermm...what do u think and how do u think whenever u wish ppl happy bdae or vice versa?

I, wish my fren happy bdae not coz it's him/her bdae on certain day..

not coz coz it's his o her bdae, so i just wish them.

i wish them, wish my frens n family happy bdae

coz

i m happy and glad for their very own existance.

my "happy bdae'' roughly translate into ::

i am happy u r born in this world.

i am happy that u r here.

i am happy that i know u.

i am happy that u exist.

That's y i like to wish my frens Happy Bdae.

Coz they are in the world n color my existance.

=)

that's my defination of Happy Bdae xD

don celebrate just for fun o ...it's bdae so u celebrate it.

find a meaning behind every celebration.

p/s :: 红叶， i will oni wish u happy bdae on ur bdae. and i hope u will wish me happy bdae on my bdae :P

没有人要内疚 没需要原宥
在十字街头 就相互保佑
那些体贴问候 那美丽镜头
没必要一分开 就变成了诅咒
相爱这一场 可能是为了
能拥有一个好朋友
还是好朋友 比爱人长久
不能牵的手按在心头
在最寂寞的关头 永远在左右
事过情迁后 升华眼泪后
思念是最漫长的享受
那无痛的伤口
还带着温柔到白头
亲吻失去感受 火花烧到尽头
没有激情 没有感情
有另一种邂逅
是什么叫你我
只配做一对好朋友